Tale of A Dog and A Doe
by AmeliaDarkholme
Summary: Someone visits Lily after James proposed. "Which one of us do you love more? James or me?" It only takes Lily one second to answer. -A Sirius/Lily fanfiction- Complete for the moment.
1. Chapter 1

**SUMMARY: **After Lily Evans was proposed by James Potter, she had a visitor in the middle of the night. A visitor who would bring back memories she wanted to forget. Memories that she had stored in the deepest part of her mind.

**CHARACTERS (and who portrayed them):**

- Lily Evans: Karen Gillan

- Sirius Black: Ben Barnes

**DISCLAIMER: **Everything belongs to my beautiful Queen, Joanne Kathleen Rowling. I own nothing but the plot. If I did, I'd make Lily and the Marauders (except Peter) were alive, and Dramione to happen.

* * *

It was raining in the middle of September 1979. Nineteen year old Lily Evans was just proposed by James Potter and she said yes to him. Though the weather was very grim, Lily's mood wasn't. She felt like she was the happiest human being ever. Cliche, yes, but that was what she felt. Despite the dark times she was having, it didn't stop her from saying yes to James Potter. Voldemort may took her parents, her friends, everyone and everything she loved dearly, but not her happiness.

Lily heard a bell rang, telling her that somehow was going to Apparate into her flat. It was Sirius Black. She knew it was him, not some imposter trying to be the last living Black Heir. First of all, the Marauders and Dumbledore were the only ones who knew about her flat. Second, Sirius was a really great wizard that it was nearly impossible for anyone to impose him. She knew should have felt relieved, but she didn't. Sirius coming to her flat brought back memories. Memories that she had tried to burry in the deepest part of her mind. Memories that kept on haunting her dreams, whenever she was awake or asleep.

"_I love you, Lily. I know I've been a prick to you, but please, give me a second chance."_

"_I'll think of that."_

"Sirius, you're wet," Lily said, coming back to reality from her thoughts. It was the past.

"Yeah, I forgot to bring an umbrella," Sirius joked. Lily laughed.

"I'll go get you a towel, okay?" she said. Sirius nodded.

"Thank you, Lily," he said. Lily smiled and hurried off to her room.

Lily closed the door behind her gently. She leaned on the door tiredly. She couldn't stand it. He shouldn't have come here. He promised her that he would never see her again unless it was emergency. She knew that this must be about James. Lily knew that Sirius wouldn't break any of his promises to her except it was something about James.

"_How's your OWLs?"_

"_I don't know if I could make it. I think my head's going to explode."_

"_You study too much, Red. Relax a bit."_

"_I don't want you to get better scores than me."_

"_Well, I think we could think of something about it. Just have some rest. Please. For me."_

She shook the thoughts away. She had to forget those memories. It didn't do any good for her to dwell with the past. She grabbed a towel and headed back to her living room. Sirius was standing near the fireplace, staring at a picture of him and James and Lily. He was careful not to wet the whole house with the droplets of water from his robes. Lily noticed that the former heartthrob of Hogwarts had gone pale and thin than the last time she met him; which was a year ago. Sirius never attended any Order meetings, always asked Remus represent him. Lily knew why he was avoiding the meetings.

"Here's the towel, Sirius," Lily said. "Just put your robes in that dryer."

"Okay," answered Sirius. He did as he told and dried his hair with the towel.

"Do you want anything to drink? Coffee? Hot chocolate?" Lily offered. Sirius shook his head.

"No, but thanks for offering."

"You're welcome."

Lily watched Sirius moved his weight from his left foot to his right. She knew that Sirius was nervous being together alone with her in one room. She knew it exactly because she felt the same way. Lily observed Sirius' face closely. After his parents' death and his brother's, Sirius had been dealing with some matters a guy like him shouldn't. He fought for his house, his money, everything he had the rights to have. He nearly lost his house because the rest of his family hated him and wanted everything he had for theirselves. Lily couldn't help but to feel sorry for him; like she always had. She had this urge to protect him, to care for him.

To love him.

Sirius put the towel on the couch before he sat on it. Lily noticed how Sirius knew better not to mess up her things. Unlike his dearest best friend, James, he knew a thing or two about furnitures. Lily thought of sitting on the chair in front of him, but in the end, she chose to sit beside him. Sirius grabbed his wand instantly and Lily feared that he wanted to jinx her. She was wrong. Sirius took the wand to dry off his clothes. Lily fought hard not to blush. They were wizards. Why didn't she think of using the Drying Spell before?

"So, how have you been?" Lily said, trying to make a conversation.

"_Congratulations, Red. You got the Head Girl badge, I see._

"I'm fine, thank you," Sirius said awkwardly. "Dumbledore asked me to work my arse off on spying those stinking Death Eaters. I've to spy on dear old Bella."

"_Thank you very much. You don't know how happy I was when I found the badge in my letter."_

"Dumbledore asked me to spy on Snape," Lily said. Sirius made a face at that name. "As far I know, Snape hasn't done anything wrong."

"_Oh, I'm sure you were more than happy. You were ecstatic, I bet. And still is."_

"Except that he's a Death Eater and also has been spying on us," Sirius pointed out. Lily sighed.

"Yeah, except that."

"I just threw a prank of Remus," Sirius said, his eyes glinting in mischief. Lily couldn't stop herself from laughing.

"Really? You still throw a prank on him?"

"Well, I don't have a choice. It's either that or losing 600 Galleons in a bet to Frank Longbottom."

"You have a bet with Frank Longbottom? You're joking, right?" Frank Longbottom was probably the only one who was more serious than Dumbledore about Voldemort. Lily couldn't think how Sirius could get Frank into a bet.

"Nope, I'm serious. We met at Alice's birthday party. I told him that I've kissed 200 girls for the 19 years I live in this world. He didn't believe me. We got into a little argument about it. Then, he dared me to throw the most humiliating prank on Remus. I said that I'd do it for 1000 Galleons. He said 260. I said 910. We kept on telling each other's prices until we both agreed with 600."

"And, what did you do to Remus?" Lily said eagerly. Sirius smirked.

"We both know that Sirius liked Mary MacDonald, right?"

"Yeah, he's been in love with her for ages."

"There, that's my prank. When Remus talked nervously with Miss MacDonald, I flicked my wand, pushing him a bit until he kissed her."

"You did not!" Lily exclaimed. Sirius barked a laugh.

"I did! You should have seen both Remus' face and Frank's. I don't know who looks angrier."

Lily laughed. "Oh, poor Remus. He must have felt so embarrassed."

"Oh, embarrassed is nothing. He looked like he wanted to crawl under a table and die."

"I bet James laughed at..." Lily trailed off. She dared not to look at Sirius, feared that he'd be mad at her. But, when she did, he looked impassive as always.

"_You're perfect, Lily. I want you to remember that."_

"_But, they keep calling me-"_

"_To hell with those fucked up Slytherins. You're perfect and we're not the only ones who know that. Your parents know it, your friends know it, and not to mention the teachers."_

"_It's just that-"_

"_You're the best thing that ever happened to me. So, forget anything anyone ever said to you."_

"He's proposed you, huh?" Sirius said slowly. Lily tried to say anything but yes, only that she didn't know what to say.

"Yes," was all Lily managed to say.

They fell silence. Lily closed her eyes and memories of her Hogwarts years came back into her mind.

She was powerless to stop it so she let herself to drown in those memories.

Memories of her secret relationship with Sirius Black.

It was snowing in the year of 1977. It could be December, or January. Lily didn't know, and didn't care. For all she knew and care was, at that moment, she lost her trust towards her judgement.

No one knew that Lily Evans had been dating Sirius Black since her fourth year. They kept their relationship as a secret. They knew everyone, especially James Potter, would never agree about them being together. But, they didn't care. Their relationship had been through all obstacles, but they stuck with each other, never let the other one alone. They acted like they hated each other whenever people was around, though Sirius sometime managed to wink at her and Lily would find herself struggling from laughing. Lily felt like she was living the dream.

Only that she had to wake up soon.

_Lily was on her way back to the Head Quarter from her Transfiguration class. She had promised Sirius that she would sneak up to meet him. So, she was more than surprised that Sirius grabbed her out of the blue and dragged her into an empty class room. Lily was happy to see Sirius, because it had been two weeks since the last time she met him. She tip toed to kiss him, to feel those smooth lips against her own. Sirius kissed her back, but something from his kiss made her stopped._

"_What's wrong, Sirius?" Lily said. "Something's troubling you."_

"_It's nothing, Lily," Sirius said. "Believe me."_

"_I believe you, Sirius. But, even though you're great at lying, I know when you are lying. I know you."_

_Sirius sat on a chair, his head bowed down. "Lily, I think we should break up," Sirius said, his voice was clear and loud._

_Lily felt like she was slapped. Broke up?_

"_But, why? Did I do something –"_

"_No, it's not you. It's me, Lily. I don't think we should do this anymore."_

"_You haven't answered my question," Lily said. "Tell me why."_

"_I know you like James," Sirius sighed after awhile. "I saw the way you look at him."_

"_Sirius, I –"_

"_I should have seen this coming," Sirius muttered. "James can be...persuasive when he wants to. Especially when he wants something."_

_Lily didn't know what to say. The moment she found James Potter was Head Boy, she knew that her life wouldn't be easy. James Potter would try everything to win her heart. He did. Lily was slowly falling for him. Who wouldn't? James Potter was everything Snape wasn't and everything Sirius was. The only thing that made James better than Sirius was his family wasn't prejudiced toward Muggle-borns. Lily looked at Sirius, who had looked at her already._

"_Do you love him, Lily?" Sirius asked straight away. Lily bit her lip._

"_I... I uh... I don't..." Lily trailed off. Both of them knew answer. Sirius smiled at her._

"_That's what I thought," Sirius said sadly._

"_Sirius, I'm really so-"_

"_Don't be," Sirius said. "It's not your fault. It's mine."_

_He walked closer toward her and pulled her into his arms. Lily always loved being hugged by Sirius. She felt save in his arms. She thought that her future would always be with Sirius, that someday, they would end up married. She was wrong. They could never be together. Lily felt like she wanted to cry, but her tears couldn't come out. She couldn't cry. She didn't know why, but her tears refused to fall down from her eyes._

"_Take care of my best friend, Red," Sirius said. He kissed her forehead lightly before he walked out from the room._

_From her life._

"I just want to ask one thing," Sirius said, knowing fully that Lily was thinking about their break-up. "Which one of us do you love more? James or me?"

"Excuse me?" Lily said, but she knew exactly what Sirius meant. She just didn't know what to say.

"Just answer it. Is it me, or James?"

When Lily didn't answer, Sirius knew what was her answer. Sirius let out a deep breath and closed his eyes. They were never meant to be. Not even in the next life they could get to meet. He opened his eyes and smiled at her. She had chosen his best friend, and he would be happy to support whatever her choice was.

"Well, I think I should get back," Sirius said, too cheerful even for his liking. "Order member or not, McGonagall would have my arse if I come up late to this so-called meeting as if I was still her fifth year student." Lily wasn't amused with his joke. If he wanted to be honest, he wasn't amused too.

"Thanks for the towel, by the way," Sirius said. "Bye, Red."

James or Sirius?

It took her only one second to answer it.

"Sirius!" Lily called. Sirius turned around and his lips met Lily's.

Sirius wasted no time and kissed her back in the same passion and longing. He missed her a lot since the time they broke up. She was constantly in his dreams. He knew that this would be the last time he could kiss her, touch her, _feel _her. He knew this was it. And he knew, if James found out about it, James wouldn't hesitate to hunt him down until the next century. But, damn it. He'd take it. It was just for the last time.

Lily walked backwards to her bedroom. She could feel Sirius' hand snaked under her shirt, starting to unbotton her shirt. She tensed when she felt Sirius' finger-tips against her. If they made love that night, that would mean Sirius was her first. She always wanted her first to be with Sirius. And that finally came true.

"I love you, Lily Evans," Sirius murmured against her lips.

"I love you, Sirius Black," she said without any second thoughts.

Sirius woke up the next morning, feeling contempt but miserable at the same time. It was a mistake, a big mistake. But, it was the right mistake he ever made. Funny, he thought, that he could do the right thing at the same time when he did his biggest mistake. And it was all because of Lily Evans.

"Morning, Red," Sirius said when he noticed Lily had opened his eyes.

"You will never stop calling me that, don't you?" Lily said. Sirius grinned.

"No. Never. Not in a million years."

Lily glanced at the clock and sighed. This was it. Starting from that moment, Sirius and her could only be friends. No more secret winks, secret stares, secret meetings. No more. She wished that she didn't love both Sirius and James. She wished that Sirius wasn't that handsome and his best friend was as ugly as a Thestral. Too bad that life couldn't be as what Lily wished.

Before Sirius walked out from Lily's flat, Lily forced herself to shout something at him.

"Sirius!" Lily called.

"Yes?"

"You'll always be my first true love," she said with a smile. Sirius chuckled softly and also smiled.

"And you're mine, Red."

Lily didn't know, that when she closed the door, Sirius added something to his words:

"My first and also last."

* * *

**A/N: **Oh, my poor beloved Sirius... Let me hug you to ease all the pain you feel :P

So, this is my very first try on writing a Sirius/Lily fanfiction. I keep on having this idea that the reason Sirius didn't marry anyone until he died was because he had a crush on Lily. I mean, isn't it weird that the hottest dude Hogwarts ever had didn't have a girl in his life? I decided that I wanted to write a fiction about it. Hope that you'll like it!

Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Amelia


	2. Chapter 2

It was her marriage to James Potter. She was finally Mrs Potter. She didn't want to brag or anything, but she knew she looked beautiful in her wedding dress. She glanced at her newly-wed husband, who was grinning from ear to ear since an hour ago. She couldn't help but to grin. James' grin was contagious, and so was his laugh. When he smiled, the whole world smiled. He laughed, the whole world laughed. That was just he was. It was like nothing could make James Potter sad.

"Now is the time for the best man speech!" exclaimed Mary McDonald, the host of her wedding. Lily tensed instantly.

This was what she had been waiting.

Her eyes searched the table, and was met with a pair of grey eyes. Sirius Black. The figure slowly rose from his seat, his eyes never leaving hers. Lily felt like the whole world had disappeared and it was only her and Sirius. They were only five meters apart, but it was like they were miles apart. Sirius cleared his throat before he looked away from her, throwing his usual smile all over the room.

"Well, it's my speech time, huh?" he said. Everyone looked at him enthusiastically. Whenever Sirius Black opened his mouth, something interesting would always come out from it.

"Ooh... Dear ol' Sirius wants to read his so-called speech!" James shouted.

"Hear, hear!" quipped Remus.

"Shut up, Remus," Frank Longbottom scolded. It looked like he was still angry about losing his bet to Sirius Black – though it wasn't Remus' fault at all.

"Thank you, lads," Sirius said. His eyes flew to Lily's direction once again. "Uh, okay. My speech. I've prepared a meter-long scroll of my speech right now. Here, have a look." He took a scroll from his pocket, and they went down rolling to his feet. Everyone laughed. Sirius grinned at his audience.

"But, after some long hours of thinking, I decided against it," he said. He threw away the scroll. "See? I won't be reading that. Because, someone once told me that a prepared speech is full of shit." He looked at Lily and winked. Another round of laughter. Lily tried hard not to blush. "I guess I'm going to say whatever I've in my mind."

"Here goes," James muttered.

"Years ago, I met this bloke, who was literally my worst and best friend in this whole Goddam world. He's brown eyes, messy black hair, and he always wears this ugly glasses. And his name is, James Charlus Potter." James stood from his seat, gave a dramatic bow, earning laughter from everyone. "Then, there's this girl, whom James has always been in love with. A girl with annoying red hair that's impossible to ignore, big green eyes like my fucking mother's beloved diamon – may her soul be damned forever, and a breath-taking emotion that nearly everyone who knows her seems to fear it. She was James mortal enemy, and well, mine. The chick's name is Lily Sheila Evans."

Lily was forced to give a bow by Remus. The redhead could only grinned meekly as she did so.

"As time passed, they finally found out they are madly in love with each other. I, as another person who could only watch from a distance, was the first one to realise it. Being made Heads, the both of them rarely left each other's presence. I admit, I kind of miss the usual bickering." Sirius stuck his tongue out at James, who merely stuck his tongue back at his best mate. "Anyway, enough with the boring story. The point of my speech is, James, you're such a lucky arsehole. You marry a really great girl and lots of men would kill to be in your shoes; though I think I won't be one of those men, since I know how awful your feet smell. I believe you're going to have a great marriage life, with lots of redheads and brown-eyed kids or raven-haired and green-eyed kids. Give your wife the best of the best. Care not what it'll takes to do that. Because, if she ever comes to my place, saying that you've been treating her poorly, I'll hunt you myself, mate."

Lily tried hard not to look down. She knew exactly what he meant, and knew that he was dead serious about it. People would think that Sirius was being protective because he felt that Lily was like his sister, but they were wrong. Very wrong.

"Well, I think that's the end of my speech. I hope I didn't bore you out to tears." He grabbed his glass of Firewhiskey and lifted it from the table. "For Evans and Prongs," he said, winking at Lily.

"Evans and Prongs," everyone said.

Lily didn't know which was one was it that made her insides warm; the Firewhiskey or Sirius' words. But she fooled herself, saying that it was the Firewhiskey. When she finished her Firewhiskey, Sirius was already back to his seat. Lily soon found herself engaged in a heated conversation with Mary McDonalds about the latest fashion in Witch Weekly. It distracted her mind momentarily from Sirius' speech until the music that told her for her dance with James started. James gave out his hand, and she took it graciously. Expertly, they both twirled on the dance floor. They weren't really dancing, just merely twirling and spinning around, but that was fine with Lily. She loved dancing with James, she always had.

Just as much as she loved dancing with Sirius.

James and Sirius were so much alike but so much different, too. James was rough, Sirius was gentle. James was a bad liar, Sirius was a great liar. James was straight to the point, Sirius was very vague. James talked a lot, Sirius listened a lot. James grinned, Sirius smiled.

Both wasn't Light, neither Dark.

They were just James and Sirius.

The two people Lily loved the most.

"I love you, you know," James whispered into her ear. "I'd do anything for you. I'd give out my life, my soul, my head. I'd be a slave for you if that's what you needed or wanted. There's nothing in this world that can't stop me from loving you and giving you the best of the best."

"Thank you, James," Lily said, looking straight into his brown eyes. "And for the record, I love you, too. With every single thing I have."

James grinned and leaned to kiss Lily. They pulled apart when the music stopped. She could see Sirius staring at her from behind James' shoulder. She could see a lot of things in Sirius' grey eyes, and all of them said the same thing; pain. Guilt filled her insides and she overwhelmed by the feeling. Lily felt slightly dizzy so she excused herself to James, saying that she needed to get some air. James nodded and Lily sped off to the backyard garden. She fell flat on the gazebo's floor, sobbing like mad. It was too much for her. She couldn't take this anymore.

"The bride shouldn't be here all alone, you know," said a voice she knew far to well. "In the middle of the night, and crying her eyes out."

"I'm sorry, Sirius," Lily sniffed. Without seeing, she knew Sirius was frowning.

"For what?"

"For everything. For being my friend, being my boyfriend, being my best friend. I often wish that I didn't know you at all." She heard Sirius' footsteps coming closer and before she knew it, the last living Heir of the Black Family was sitting beside her, plopping his too-big jacket around her.

"I told you before, Lily. It's never your fault. The fault is all mine. If anyone should be crying right now, it's me. Look, I have tears in my eyes."

Lily laughed. "I can't imagine a big tough guy like you crying, Padfoot."

Sirius smiled. "I'm glad you finally laugh. You weren't born to cry, Lily. You were born to laugh – and to make people laugh."

Lily blushed slightly. "Thank you very much."

"Don't mention it."

Lily moved closer toward Sirius, and he embraced her. "I wish I was you. I wish I could live free without any expectations from people, oblivious to what the worlds says about me." She sighed heavily, her hands began to play with Sirius' shirt absentmindedly. "My life would be a lot easier if I were you, Sirius."

"No, it would not, Lily," Sirius said immediately. "You know exactly it would not."

"Well, at least I _want _to be you," Lily said stubbornly. "I mean no offense, but I want to be careless like you. I want to be selfish, I want to be _free._ You do aware that freedom costs a lot, right?"

"I'm not all that careless or selfish, Lily. If I was, I wouldn't be here with you tonight. I wouldn't give a shit to whatever my friends do. And yes, I'm aware freedom costs a lot. That's what I'm fighting for – what all of us are fighting for. Perhaps, for me, that's the only thing worth fighting for."

"It's just..." Lily sighed. "I always think that being someone else but me is always simple. I mean, since I was a little girl, I wanted to be a singer. Then, I found out that I was a witch and I stopped dreaming to be a singer. I began to dream to be the first female Wizarding Prime Minister ever. And this bloody War came, and again, like before, I stop dreaming to be a Prime Minister."

Lily could feel Sirius' even breathing on hear head and she calmed down as she listened to his steady heart beat. She still didn't know how everything about Sirius was even and under control.

"I guess you just can't have everything, Red," Sirius managed. "But you have to know, Lily, that the world isn't always about what you have and what you don't; or what you can have and what you can't. It's mostly about what you should choose to have and what you don't choose, what you should have had and what you shouldn't have, or maybe what you wish you had and what you wish you hadn't. Human don't have two choices. They have _a billion_ choices. It doesn't matter what the choices are, what matter is what they choose."

"You always have and answer for everything, don't you?" Lily muttered, smiling. Sirius replied the smile.

"Because I'd need to answer you every question, Lily. I've to think through stuffs that someday, could be an answer to your questions. I do admit though, that sometimes, I over-think stuffs people never did. Even though I know you'd never ask about it." Lily nodded.

"Yeah, I realise you do that a lot."

"Like, uh, the time when I said all human being are probably bisexual? Everyone in the Great Hall stared at me as if I was stripping erotically with Voldemort and Dumbledore. I mean, girls know which girls are beautiful, and so do boys. And pretty faces are attractive, is it not? Don't attraction leads on to romantic feelings? And also, people do find three some amazing, right? Having threesome means that two person are actually okay about having sex with someone not his or her opposite sex, but even the same sex."

"Hm-hm... That could be right," Lily answered dumbly – which was something new. Lily Evans, now Potter, never answered anything dumbly. She always thought over everything immaculately. She was Lily Evans, now Potter, after all. She was never dumb.

But, when it came to Sirius Black, she was like some idiotic and giggly girls she often pitied.

"And then when I said that the first Pureblood could possibly be a Muggle-born. Remember when I said that? I had an hour of duel with Bella after I said that. She just never understands how magic works, I guess. We aren't any different with any other human being; magical or not. We all bleed red, piss yellow and shit brown. It could be that the first Black ever was a Muggle born, then he married another Muggle born and had children. He could just call his child a Pureblood because both him and his wife were magical. No one would ever know about it anyway. Ancient people were stupid. They didn't think like us modern people."

"That's exactly my point," Lily said again, her mind focused more on Sirius' grey eyes. She didn't really care what he said. She just liked hearing him talking. There was something soothing in his voice that could always calm her.

Sirius kept on ranting for nearly two hours, both knowing fully that Lily wasn't really listening anymore. Sirius kept talking because he knew that it could calm Lily, and Lily kept on sort of listening to him because she _needed _to hear his voice. Lily didn't know when, but when Sirius shook her shoulders softly, she knew that she had fallen a sleep. She blushed furiously, ashamed that she had fallen asleep when Sirius was talking. It never happened before. She did always tune-out of anything Sirius said after a few minutes, but she never fallen asleep. Therefore, anyone could imagine how she felt. She looked up at Sirius nervously, afraid of what he'd say. If Sirius was even noticing how Lily had felt about her falling asleep when he was talking, he did a pretty good job on hiding it. Lily couldn't tell at all.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep," Lily muttered. Sirius snorted an amused laugh.

"It's okay. I know that sometimes I bore people out to tears when I talk."

"Yeah, James always said..." she trailed off immediately, like a few months ago when Sirius visited her flat and she slipped James' name.

She had ruined the moment. Again. Thanks to her bloody big mouth.

"You should go back," Sirius said in a weird voice. He softly pushed Lily away off his body and got on his feet. Lily's heart ached so badly when she stood next to him.

"I'm sorry, Sirius," Lily whispered, her eyes began to water. She cursed under her breath. Why was it every time she was with Sirius she got all teary and emotional? She was fighter, for Merlin's sake! She joined Order of the Phoenix at the age of seventeen and practically fought every single Slytherin who called her a Mudblood for years.

Crying was so not like her and she wondered why she always did that around Sirius.

Lily bet Sirius was probably annoyed how emotional Lily could get most of the times.

"I told you, Lily, for like a thousand times. There's nothing for you to be sorry. So please, stop saying sorry every time you could. You're ruining my reputation as an arsehole, you know." He winkes mischievously and she laughed.

"Alright, alright. I won't say sorry again." She lowered her voice and said, "High prided git."

"Hey, I heard that!" Sirius exclaimed. Lily grinned, earning a small smile from Sirius. Lily was admitedly pretty disappointed to see that his smile didn't reach his eyes.

Lily looked at the Hall, saw James waved at her happily.

Sirius was right. She really should get back.

"I guess really have to go, then," Lily said. Sirius smiled sadly.

"Yes, you should. I'd hate to make Prongs upset that I stole his bride too long."

"Don't worry, I won't tell a soul that you planned on kidnapping me."

Sirius smirked. "Who would want to kidnap a bridezilla like you? I'd rather eat my shit."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Sirius."

Sirius grinned boyishly and his lips caught Lily's attention. His lips were so close in reach. She could just yank his head closer and kiss him. She didn't know why and how, but this sudden urge to kiss him was so overwhelming. She couldn't just ignore it.

Lily glanced at James, who had walked away and turned his back on her.

Perfect.

If she wanted to do something, this was the right time.

"Sirius, look at me," Lily commanded. Sirius obeyed in an instant. Lily braced herself and tiptoed to kiss her first love. Sirius seemed taken aback, but it didn't stop him from kissing her.

Lily always loved how Sirius kissed her. When James kissed her, he was so dominant. Not like Lily hated it, God no! She loved kissing James. But, when it was Sirius who kissed her, it just felt different. Sirius let her to choose what she wanted. If she wanted him to lead, he'd later give her choice whether she how she wanted it to be. If she wanted herself to lead, he'd let her to choose how the kiss would turn up.

"Go, Lily," Sirius said after awhile. His voice was no more than a mere whisper. "Go before I regret for letting you go." Lily looked at him, surprised at his words.

"Sirius, I – "

"Lily, please. I need to be alone." Lily sighed and swallowed the sobs that was about to come out from her mouth. She was so weak, she thought.

"Sirius?" Lily called out slowly, turning around to face him before she joined herself in the group of people who probably had been wondering where she went. Sirius was looking at Sirius the star above him before he looked at her.

"Yes, Lily?"

"Remember what I said a few months ago? Before you went back home?" Sirius looked like he was struggling the words he was about to say.

"Yeah, of course. Why?"

"I meant what I said. Every single word."

There was a ghost of a smile in his morose face as he said, "So do I, Lily Evans. So do I."

Lily sucked in her breath harshly and turned her back on her. When she looked back at him, he was already gone.

Leaving a big gap in her heart.

* * *

**A/N: **I'm not really sure about this chapter. I don't even remember writing this chapter. All I could remember was I wake up in the middle of the night, having this overwhelming need to write something about Lily's wedding and Sirius' reaction toward it. I'm don't know whether I'm gonna write the next chapter or not.

Anyway, thanks for reading and please review! :)

Amelia


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